I wanted to let you all know the website will be getting a bit of a makeover this week! Everyone working on it is extremely excited. Thank you in advance for your patience as we are still working out a few bugs, but it should all up and running soon! Have a great week.
Getting off the ladder
Filed under A Beautiful Mess, Spiritual Direction, Thoughts on life
My sister-in-law called me last night. She just returned from a trip and I started teaching, so we had a bit to catch up on.
“How’s work going?” I inquire, because she talked about a promotion right before she left.
“Good, but they might end up moving me to full time. I know you’re supposed to ‘climb the ladder’….”
I cut her off, “Yeah, whose ladder though?”
“I know right? I lose freedom of my schedule and I’m just not sure I want that, but I do love it.”
I hear the wrestling match in her voice. The part time job which allows her flexible hours and the benefit of three day weekends every weekend might move to more time at the office. Opportunity is about to knock – or is it?
(my sis and I)
Earlier in the day, I saw similar wrestling matches going on in my new class. My students look worried as we enter into the world of deconstruction. Read More »
What is work?
Filed under A Beautiful Mess, Home.Food.Garden, Spiritual Direction
I declared these past 10 days Take Your Wife To Work Week. My husband works for an international humanitarian organization and travels quite a bit. Due to my old job responsibilities it was never an option for me go with him.
As I made the transition to my new role in the university, we quickly realized there was a window of time for me to travel to Costa Rica with him.
It didn’t hurt that we tacked on a couple days to the front end to relax at the beach. However, we soon found ourselves at Nate’s boss’ home ready to begin our work week. I figured if you have to lesson plan, what’s the difference between my home office or working in a different country with my husband?
My other companions on this trip were textbooks – leadership, spiritual formation, writing – along with other “fun” reads like Wendell Berry and John O’Donohue. As Nate sat for long planning meetings, only breaking for meals. I found myself diving into outlining, reading and lecture writing. Ten hours later I had finalized a syllabus and planned two lectures. I had learned new presentation software and done mental gymnastics in order to translate ideas to a new generation of students.
I was spent. Read More »
On becoming a godmother
Filed under A Beautiful Mess, Thoughts on life
I was recently asked by a dear friend to be her daughter’s godmother, and not just in the figurative sense. In the case of a tragedy, we are the literal guardians of little Maya. The request came over lunch: two friends eating tomatoes and mozzarella catching up about the last month we hadn’t seen each other was about to get a lot more serious.
“So Erik and I are working on our will and we wanted to ask if you and Nate would consider being guardians.” She went on to say of course they understood this is a big request and we could of course say no.
My heart fluttered and an overwhelming feeling caught up to my tear ducts as I remembered the Winter of 2009.
I was one of the first to find out about this precious little being. I took her mama to the ER because she had violent morning sickness that lasted for months on end, all day long.
We didn’t understand then how this little girl would change our lives. My friend’s, of course, in becoming a wonderful mother and me in how you expect to be there for a friend in need – expecting nothing in return.
My expectations were the same about being a godparent: I didn’t expect it at all. I would never assume that decision of anyone’s family. So I became flushed with gratitude and honor at the thought that someone would want me to raise her child.
I went home and through tears explained the request to my husband. By the end of the conversation we were both crying.
“She said that she loves how intentional we are with our life. That we believe in something bigger than ourselves – our connection to the earth and to God and to them,” I felt the tear journey down my cheek as I journeyed into the memory of Thanksgiving last year. We invited her and her family, new baby in tow. It felt like a natural family as we went around the table saying what we were thankful for. There we were, our small extended relatives, our neighbor who lives by himself, and this new family. Suddenly DNA didn’t matter – we were all related.
“My first response is yes, but I want to pray about it for a bit to see if there is any hint of a ‘no’,” my husband responded with later on in all his wisdom. Read More »
The Cost of Busyness – an ode to my 80 year old self.
Filed under A Beautiful Mess, Home.Food.Garden, Spiritual Direction
I feel like a cranky grandma right now. The other morning I found myself in my garden getting mad at insects and waving at drivers to slow down on my street.
I can’t be serious? Who am I?! I become a faculty member and suddenly I’m 80? (I might be in this pic)
I am starting to understand why my grandpa watched golf all day. It was his meditation and escape. His dream life on screen and his naptime all wrapped up with the lullaby of shushed applause and the melodic “ooohs and awwws” cooing away all that is wrong in the world. Even the speeding cars.
There is the occasional, “What the crap kind of ball is that?” But then it would switch to another player and life would go on. It is like a person having a bad dream, only to roll over and drift off again.
My grandparents weren’t busy. They read the paper, drank coffee and golfed. A lot.
Today I can’t escape busyness. Even in the past two weeks, where work has slowed and the normal 9 to 5 ceases, I still have classes to plan and meetings to attend. However, there are these times of lull. Times where I am tempted to turn on the TV or watch the free episodes of Barefoot Contessa on Hulu. Times where I want to check out. I look at a picture on Facebook and suddenly an hour has gone by. It’s not that I never do those things, but I’m just not sure how so much time is gone by doing them.
Summer is disappearing and I am letting it. I’m beginning to think this of life too. I was raised in a family that thought, “Once you’re old enough, you’ll understand.” Somehow though, I am always 12. I’m almost 2 decades older than that, but I got lodged in my father and older brothers’ memories as a struggling adolescent, and I’m wedged there between their 80’s mullets and my dad’s memorable but awkward mustache. They have moved on (and shaved), but somehow I did not in their minds. Read More »
The Paralysis of Beginning
Filed under A Beautiful Mess, Home.Food.Garden, Thoughts on life
We’ve been home for a week. During this time we’ve had our first taste of summer – literally. We have started harvesting cucumbers, zucchini, just a couple handfuls of raspberries and tomatoes, and, wait for it, two blueberries! Jam making has commenced as well: Apricot, Vanilla, White Wine and Strawberry Thai Herb. Our lovely and creative housemate, Beth, helped with these and now we take a breather before this weekend’s Plum Cardamom followed by a Tomato Sauce Extravaganza in a couple weeks.
Part of me longs to bake, dig, and organize – engage my hands and senses, leaving my academic side out of it. Already, a whole new set of shelves were installed under our stairs. The space wasn’t being used efficiently, so my activator/achiever strengths kicked in and voila, more storage.
It is a wonderful way to tune into summer: Sweating over a stove at 10 o’clock at night just like both of my grandmothers once did a generation ago. Not sure if they would’ve had the wine glass in hand, nevertheless, there is something calling me to this.
However, there is also something hastily beckoning me to Fall – to read textbooks, plan syllabi, and create lessons and assignments that are engaging and relevant. When I got home part of me longed to dive in but I just couldn’t start, not even on jam. Read More »
