A Beautiful Mess

Aletheia Schmidt has been making new things from old things for most of her life but it wasn’t until recently, that she began calling herself an artist. Stepping away from the security of a regular paycheck, Aletheia considers herself blessed with the chance of a lifetime to venture into a new season of exploration and deep courage. She is in the midst of pursuing her new found love of painting her prayers and longs for opportunities to share how the arts, imagination, and creativity offer life, teaching and sharing every chance she gets. For more of her work and writings, visit her blog or find her on Twitter. You can also check out her Pinterest page, connect on her Facebook page, or go to her Etsy shop.

 

The call came first thing Monday morning, and just like that, my last shred of stability was sniped in half: I was without regular work.

At first I couldn’t believe it. Could this really be true? But as I hung up the phone, and as the tears came—and would continue throughout the week—I realized it was and I realized too that I was worried.

Now what? What would I do? And how would I do it? I had no other plan, no other vision.

 And then the doubts: Had I been foolish? Should I have stayed with the comfortable, familiar, predictable? Had I made a terrible call?

Sure, it was one thing to talk about ‘living from desire,’ ‘going after what I wanted,’ and  ‘chasing after the dream’ of supporting myself as a Christian artist, but now, as the practicality of life was all I could see, I wondered if this leap might be for someone else—someone more brave, someone more certain.

In that moment everything changed. My feet, which moments before had been planted on solid soil were now above my head; I was falling.

…and You said

“Trust my plan

right now you don’t understand:

Let it go.

And I’m gonna show you,

I give back whatever you sow

better than before.

Let it go.

Let it go.

…I need you so I won’t move from what I know’s the truth.

And you said, “Fix your eyes on me…just rest in what I’ve said,

have I broken a promise yet?”

So let it go.

And I’m gonna show you…

I give back whatever you sow

better than before.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Heaven knows.

Heaven knows what’s perfect.

…So let it go.

–“Let It Go,” Kevin Toque

It wasn’t until I had been falling for a few moments, unattached to everything, that I was able to form my prayer: I don’t understand and I am scared, but, as I fall I ask, Lord, that would you join me. Would you just join me, Jesus?

And I climbed on His back and we began to fly. We began to soar.